Ballet shoes & thoughts

I think I make better art now than I used to because now i have more times where as before it was deadlines, deadlines, deadlines I only had a short amount of time to make paintings so I had to make them quickly i didn't have time to take months making a good painting this time however im taking my time this painting above i knew was inaccurate i rushed it to finish it so i could continue with my Walter Sicket essay.

My thought is if an artist can make a masterpiece from a piece of card toilet paper and glue then he can make anything look like a masterpiece. It isnt the materials that really matter but what you can do with them. Well sometimes it matters when it comes to vivid colour then good quality paints do help i suppose but when i had no money i was using a red, yellow and blue tube of £3.99 paint and my paintings were still ok.


Theses are my ballet shoes yep I did this too from being very small i did it on and off for years but I gave it up at 17 so I could pursue painting I was better at painting.

 I was just thinking as im sitting here drinking my coffee how very bored I am not just today but with my life in general. I need to be somewhere where im understood, accepted for the person that I am inside. I mean I don't know anybody around here that can paint and draw like this its a very specialist subject. So while im sitting here at home isolated the talent that I have is not being recognised or used correctly and I'm being held back living in North East England there isn't exactly as many other that a first class honours degree in fine art round here. I need friends that understand me not just because of art but for my health and well being as well I'm becoming bored and restless being alone in a little coal mining village where nobody around me understands my art. It would I suppose take a lot of hard work to find others that like art history and have a first class honours degree so I've started teaching others about it instead of trying to find other friends on my level i gave up looking a long time ago but still its fun to learn others what I've learnt.

Having autism I sometimes wonder if anything I say is ever correct at all. Words come out backwards and no matter what I say I always choose the wrong time to say things or I say too much or too little. I sometimes wonder if people just think im a deluded fool I often apologies for just being alive. I've even doubt my own art thinking I just think its good what if im making bad art maybe im just painting bad art and it will never be recognised ive been told all my life my drawings are good but maybe they are not ive just never met anybody else like me?

Did you see the autistic boy dancing like Billy Elliot on Britain's got talent? I hope that is on tonight see its an autistic person again we do amazing things. I walked on my toes like that for years too because of being autistic and it was hell walking with my feet flat on the ground i did this on and off for ages i cant wear high heels anymore.

The Art Book Phaidon

If you want to see where I used to get some of my ideas from when I was younger in A level class check out The Art Book you will find illustrations of works done by a few of the artist work I like look for macke its a brightly coloured picture of girls wearing hats, you can look at Emil Noldes work on-line too if you wish they are old artists but still good early 20th century if you want to check out more modern stuff try Tracy Emond and Malcolm Morley.

Windsor and Newton Artist paint

I once did something really stupid I had a pallet of Windsor and Newton colours Ive just bought two days previously I was taking them to a friends house, on the way there I dropped the box and paints all over the pavement. Well they all fell out of the little boxes so i picked them all up and took it home there were about 36 colours in the set so i sat and put all the colours back in the right boxes ''without looking at the labels'' to be able to put all those colours back in the correct boxes you need to be well great at knowing which colours belong to which box without looking im good at looking at colours and knowing what they are. Ooops!

Hello and happy easter

Hello to my new followers thanks for being here. I was diagnosed as being autistic two years ago and with my new friend have started to love painting again. I have started a whole new project because this one well it didnt work out. I'm spending most of my hours every day at my studio and am loving every minute being there. My new project im just loving now that I have a new art friend to share my ideas with. I will be posting more of my new project work here.

14th April 2011


I haven't done a lot today because I had an autism meltdown it took a while for it to stop about one hour and 30 minutes. When id stopped crying though I did work on the drawing a little. You can see what ive been working on today on my blog page list titled ''Goldfish Bowl'' I'm very happy with how the project is progressing.'' :o)

Wednesday 27th April


Today I didn't make any more art because I was waiting for somebody visiting my house to fix mold in my bathroom, but I did go into town to buy more paint and primer today. Will be doing my research into German Expressionism just to refresh my memory about it and to look at the colours again I will be choosing an Expressionist artist to research from one of my art books upstairs. Ill will be working on this after i have been food shopping at ASDA ill be going there at six, then ill come back and get some art done.